Here's the thing about that...

See here is the thing....

Being single isn't easy!

Dating SUCKS! ALL married people must listen to this! Dating SUCKS!!!

First, finding suitable people whom you trust is the first obstacle. Where do you find them? Bars? Oh heck no! The grocery store? I try to avoid it at all costs! (ha ha nope all the men that hang out there are married or gay!) The INTERNET??? Well let's see??? The Internet has only the filter that you set. Anyone can use it, anyone can post a profile (from myspace to any singles website you can find), anyone can use any picture from anywhere on the Internet or magazine they want to say that is what they look like. Heck, ANYONE can say they make a ton of money and are the "right person" for you! They can tell you what you want to hear because, jeez, lets face it, at this time of your life you are tired of the "same old song and dance!" Hmmmm sounds like I know what I am talking about huh?

Second, once you've found a person who you "think" you might have things in common with. It starts....."THE BIG DANCE!" LOL What I mean is you both try to cover up the flaws. You "dance" around the not so comfortable parts of your life as to make yourself seem more attractive. Then, as days pass and then weeks, your left feeling like "Hey, I really like this person!" As this time passes, you are lulled into a "false sense" of security. Then BAM you are hit with REALITY!!! I am not saying that I was or have been living in another realm HOWEVER, it is very easy to do when you begin a new relationship with someone! This reality can and will hit whether you are looking for the flaws or not! It is all in the timing!!!

REALITY being that EVERYONE has baggage. What you are faced with is, "is this person's baggage too heavy for me to carry?" Then you tell yourself, "Everyone has issues! Even you! You just need to find the person whose issues you can tolerate and that can tolerate yours!"

Well let me tell you folks "it ain't" easy!!!! I have some criteria for the person who will share my time, my friendship, my partnership, and my heart. Maybe someday soon I will post that "Proverbial Bar" criteria list!

I did find someone. I did meet him. I did share my time and a little of my heart with him. He didn't lie. He didn't cheat. At first, he was too good to be true! (BEWARE the too good to be true! They usually are!) At first things were good! It was fun! It was new and exciting. What hurts is, it wasn't all true! Avoidance is an issue. Avoiding what was your past makes your future very dim. Avoidance and denial of a true problem interrupts what can or could have been a beautiful future. He gave me little snippets of what the problem was. I saw the red flags. I knew in my gut what I was looking for. I know what I want! I know what I can handle and what I can't. I went in with my eyes wide open (for the first time in a LONG LONG time!). I just hope that I can continue to keep my eyes open, be patient, kind, and caring to those who come into my life.

I know that I have to stay true to myself, true to my children, true to my goals and true to what I want in a partner and friend. I know that I must take my life lessons and keep my head "screwed on straight."

I guess what scares me is....

I am 38 years old. I have 3 of the best kids in the whole world! Why am I not contented with that? Or am I? Have I set that "bar" so high that there isn't anyone out there that I will feel comfortable sharing the other part of my life with? Is the reason I have set that bar so high because I really don't want to let anyone in?