The Proverbial Bar!

Ok, so after reading my last blog I talked to Aimee (one of my favorite people and I value her opinion tremendously) and she wanted to read my proverbial bar post. I posted this as one of my blogs on my MySpace page and I haven't really edited it for this blog but here it is not in its entirety but here it is....

This is a copy and paste and I am afraid that the formatting didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to but....

The proverbial BAR...

The imaginary bar that we set when we set a goal.
Most of you know that I am a goal oriented person. I like to set goals work to achieve them, and then move toward something bigger and better, right?
Well, I have set some goals and here they are....
I will be an administrator in the public school system within the next 5 years. Don’t get me wrong, I love to teach. I love working with my students. I want to make things better for them. Better for my students. Better for the kids that come after them. I am a fixer. I am not happy unless I know I am making a difference. As a teacher, I think I am making a difference. I hope that I touch my student’s lives and help to make their lives a little easier and a little better. I hope that for ALL of them they become something better than they ever dreamed of. AND I know none of my students will read this but I hope that when they make something of themselves they think of me, even if it is for a fleeting moment, when they experience whatever it is that makes their dreams come true.

Now on to someone to share my life with...
I have set this bar, this filter for the next man that comes into my life.
I am putting this out there hoping to get some feed back and see if MY FRIENDS think that I am crazy of if this "filter" is too fine. To see if because of my past I have limited my future. Opinions count. I will take them into consideration but you all know what opinions are like, EVERYONE HAS ONE!!! I may or may not choose to listen. Most of you all know that I hear them and it is my choice whether or not I take yours into account when making or altering my decision....

1. He will be an equal in many ways.
a. financially/economically
1. We will both work to strive for financial freedom for ourselves and for our children (his and mine).
b. academically/intelligence
c. passionate AND compassionate
a. Passionate about goals, beliefs, helping others, and helping himself.
b. He will have compassion for others and he will show it, regularly.
2. He will have an exemplary background
a. NO criminal background!
3. He will love children as much as I do.
4. He will love being a part of a family.
a. Family will come first.
b. We (he and I) will be important.
c. His children, (if he has any) my children (cause God knows I have some) will be important.
d. We will thank God for them every moment we get a chance.
5. He will want more out of life than just sitting and watching it pass by.
a. Travel
b. See and do things we have never done before.
c. Experience things we have and experience them again together.
6. He will be gentle, patient, kind, caring, fun-loving, and love to laugh.
7. He will NOT be co-dependant.
a. No drugs, no alcohol, no other women!!!
8. He will be able to tell me NO when I need it and yes when I need it.
9. He will love me for what and who I am and NOT for what I can do for him or for what he thinks I can be.
10. I will love him for what and who he is not for what he can do for me or for what I think he can be.

Here's the thing about that...

See here is the thing....

Being single isn't easy!

Dating SUCKS! ALL married people must listen to this! Dating SUCKS!!!

First, finding suitable people whom you trust is the first obstacle. Where do you find them? Bars? Oh heck no! The grocery store? I try to avoid it at all costs! (ha ha nope all the men that hang out there are married or gay!) The INTERNET??? Well let's see??? The Internet has only the filter that you set. Anyone can use it, anyone can post a profile (from myspace to any singles website you can find), anyone can use any picture from anywhere on the Internet or magazine they want to say that is what they look like. Heck, ANYONE can say they make a ton of money and are the "right person" for you! They can tell you what you want to hear because, jeez, lets face it, at this time of your life you are tired of the "same old song and dance!" Hmmmm sounds like I know what I am talking about huh?

Second, once you've found a person who you "think" you might have things in common with. It starts....."THE BIG DANCE!" LOL What I mean is you both try to cover up the flaws. You "dance" around the not so comfortable parts of your life as to make yourself seem more attractive. Then, as days pass and then weeks, your left feeling like "Hey, I really like this person!" As this time passes, you are lulled into a "false sense" of security. Then BAM you are hit with REALITY!!! I am not saying that I was or have been living in another realm HOWEVER, it is very easy to do when you begin a new relationship with someone! This reality can and will hit whether you are looking for the flaws or not! It is all in the timing!!!

REALITY being that EVERYONE has baggage. What you are faced with is, "is this person's baggage too heavy for me to carry?" Then you tell yourself, "Everyone has issues! Even you! You just need to find the person whose issues you can tolerate and that can tolerate yours!"

Well let me tell you folks "it ain't" easy!!!! I have some criteria for the person who will share my time, my friendship, my partnership, and my heart. Maybe someday soon I will post that "Proverbial Bar" criteria list!

I did find someone. I did meet him. I did share my time and a little of my heart with him. He didn't lie. He didn't cheat. At first, he was too good to be true! (BEWARE the too good to be true! They usually are!) At first things were good! It was fun! It was new and exciting. What hurts is, it wasn't all true! Avoidance is an issue. Avoiding what was your past makes your future very dim. Avoidance and denial of a true problem interrupts what can or could have been a beautiful future. He gave me little snippets of what the problem was. I saw the red flags. I knew in my gut what I was looking for. I know what I want! I know what I can handle and what I can't. I went in with my eyes wide open (for the first time in a LONG LONG time!). I just hope that I can continue to keep my eyes open, be patient, kind, and caring to those who come into my life.

I know that I have to stay true to myself, true to my children, true to my goals and true to what I want in a partner and friend. I know that I must take my life lessons and keep my head "screwed on straight."

I guess what scares me is....

I am 38 years old. I have 3 of the best kids in the whole world! Why am I not contented with that? Or am I? Have I set that "bar" so high that there isn't anyone out there that I will feel comfortable sharing the other part of my life with? Is the reason I have set that bar so high because I really don't want to let anyone in?

Alyssa's First Trip to the Zoo!!!

In the bigger little town next to my little town, we have a little zoo. Taylor, Emily, and I decided to take Alyssa for her first trip to the Zoo. The Applegate Zoo in Merced has animals that we would find in the local foothills and mountains. We also met up with a great friend of mine, Darlene and her kids.

Kayson is her youngest and Alyssa thinks that he is a toy!!! He is awfully cute!!! We think that maybe if we get them together now they will grow up, get married, and we can be in-laws! Like that will ever really happen.

Here are some more pics of our trip to the zoo!

On our way into the zoo...

"ooooohhhh what's that???"
"Here kitty kitty!!"









California Black Bear

"Ohhhh I want it! Mommy!"

Pygmy Goats (They are always Hungry!!)



Ok so the last animal here isn't a local animal BUT what is a zoo without some MONKEYS!!!