My Everything!

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Belongs to You!

Belongs to You....

I've spend so much time believing
That in this life you try to give all you can take
When all along I've been needing was to find one good reason
To give myself really give myself away

Every smile that lights my face
Every teardrop every trace
Every secret in place belongs to you
Anything that's good in me all I ever want to be
Every drop of every dream belongs to you

Oh the me that I remember always thought you had to keep it all inside
Get in trouble for being tender so you never say surrender
But it took you to finally prove me wrong

Every smile that lights my face
Every teardrop every trace
Every secret in place belongs to you
Anything that's good in me all I ever want to be
Every drop of every dream belongs to you

I'm letting go I'm letting go now
Of everything I've ever held unto
Every place I've ever been
Every chance I'll get again
Every secret every sin belongs to you
Anything that's good in me all I ever want to be
Every drop of every dream belongs to you
It all belongs to you


Emerson Drive sings these words in their new song, Belongs to You. I couldn't say it any better! I am sorry for being so mushy! I am hooked and I can't help myself. Yes, Aimee, you are right! It is in print and I made it official. AIMEE IS RIGHT!!! Not going to tell you what she is right about till it comes true and neither should she....let's just see if and when it happens shall we?

HERE!!!

Dwight,

There's a place I've been looking for
That took me in and out of buildings
Behind windows, walls and doors
And I thought I found it
Couple times, even settled down
And I'd hang around just long enough
To find my way back out
I know now the place that I was trying to
Reach
Was you, right here in front of me

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

It's amazing what I let my heart go through
To get me where it got me
In this moment here with you
And it passed me by
God knows how many times
I was so caught up in holding
What I never thought I'd find
I know now, there's a million roads
I had to take
To get me in your arms that way

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

In a love I never thought I'd get to get to-here
And if that's the road
God made me take to be with you

And I wouldn't change a thing
I'd walk right back through the rain
Back to every broken heart
On the day that it was breakin'
And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

And I'd relive all the years
And be thankful for all the tears
I've cried with every stumbled step
That led to you and got me here, right here

Love,
Danielle

So, there is this guy.....

Ok, so I have quite possibly met the most wonderful man in the entire world, with a few exceptions, which those men are married to friends of mine. His name is Dwight. He is an Engineer for the Atwater Fire Department. Recently, the City of Atwater signed a contract with Cal Fire, formerly the California Department of Forestry. When Atwater switched to Cal Fire all of the Firefighters got new uniforms and new badges. In the fire industry, when they get a promotion or a new badge they have a ceremony called a Badge Pinning ceremony. Dwight asked me of all people to pin his new badge on his new uniform. I thought he looked quite sharp.

Here are some pics of the event! I was very honored, very nervous, and I felt very privileged to have been a part of something so important for him. Thanks Dwight!


Engineer Good before his new badge.

Engineer Good and Captain "Mac" McDonald

I am trying not to pin HIM!

Thanks for letting me be a part of this very memorable day!

Dwight and I with his new badge.

Pismo July 08

Ok, this happened quite a while ago BUT here it is anyway! We had so much fun! If you want to see the video of our trip check out Aimee's Blog. The Private Public Journal of the Wards. There is a link right here on my page.






Ok...So before school got out Aimee, Yvette, and their families were going on this trip to Pismo Beach, which those of you who know me know that Pismo is one of my favorite places in the WORLD!!! Ok! So my world is kinda small but even so Pismo is a great place. Before I knew it mom and sister decided they wanted to go too! We had a blast! I am waiting for pics from Aimee and Taylor but these are the ones from my phone! Aimee, the organized one, had an itinerary so that we could experience all that we wanted to on our short trip to the coast. I didn't get to see as much of Aimee, Yvette, and Families as I would have liked but school is coming and we will get to spend more time together.



Me and "Johnny Boy". My nephew.















Me and Jay T, my nephew.












Me on our way to the Tidal Pools, Montana De Oro.














Montana De Oro

Missing Miss Yvette

Lori, Yvette, Me, and Aimee



One of our co-workers made the mistake of calling us "Charlie's Angels" one day. So we thought this was fun!!!

Another school year is coming to an end and I will be losing a wonderful colleague. Yvette Boden is my partner teacher here at Sierra Charter school. Yvette, Aimee, Lori, and I work together in one office. We ARE the Resource room people. I feel like we have become close in the last two years. I know that I have had my share of troubled times and Yvette along with Aimee and Lori, have been a tremendous source of strength and wonderful role models for me. Yvette is a strong outgoing person who when faced with a challenge rises to meet and exceed any and all expectations. She has shown me how to be a better person for myself as well as for those around me.

Yvette, Aimee, Lori, and I have so much fun at work. It really isn't like work at all. We do our jobs and we do a damned good job too! I want to get up in the mornings. I LOVE my job. I LOVE the people I work with. I LOVE what I do! I get paid to do something that I LOVE and have a passion for.

Yvette is moving on. She as decided to take a position in a traditional classroom. I wish her all the best. She will truly be missed! I will miss our talks. I will miss the Kindsay phone calls. I will miss the Kindsay stories. I will miss the "Queen" of the resource room. I just hope that we get a replacement that is AT LEAST half of the person you were! Miss you Yvette! Good Luck! Best Wishes! BE HAPPY!

~~Aunt Martha~~

Aunt Martha at Alyssa's 1st birthday.

from left to right...Aunt Martha, Aunt Juanell, Uncle Frank, and seated thats my Daddy!



My Dad's older sister Martha passed away yesterday. I wanted to post a blog in memory of her.

I just wanted to write down something funny that I remember about her!

While I was growing up, my family and my Aunt Martha's family would go camping together. We all would go camping at a place called Sweetwater Creek. We would have so much fun getting dirty, playing in the creek, telling ghost stories, roasting marshmallows over the campfire, and listening to the hound "dawgs" howl and bark at every little scent they got a whiff of. It was common practice that when the sun went down the men and boys would go huntin' and the women and girls would stay in camp and wait or cook or mend or whatever it was that the "women folk" were supposed to do. Those of you who know my mom know that whole "women folk" crap got tossed right out the window as soon as the men would start talking about women's proper place in the family. Well, she and my Aunt Martha decided that we should all go with the men. So we (my mom, my Aunt Martha, me, my sister, and my cousins Beth and Jackie) piled in the back of my dad's Dodge pickup with our sleeping backs, pillows, and stuff. Now you have to know that the Sweetwater Creek area has red dirt and clay. So everything is covered in red dust. We are all packed in the back of this Dodge pickup, driving through 4 wheel drive roads following the sounds of the hound "dawgs" as quickly and as quietly as we can. My dad, Uncle Jack, and my cousin Sonny are in the front seat with the rear sliding window open, along with both windows rolled down so they can hear the "dawgs." We can hear the howling and barking of the hounds in the distance. We race toward them because as the "dawgs" howl and bark my uncle says "They're on a trail, Jim! I can hear Sissy (one of his dogs) bawlin'!" My mom and aunt start laughing. My sister, Beth, Jackie, and I look at each other cause we have no idea what is going on! We race down a dusty dirt road. All of us in the back are choking and gasping for air from the dust and exhaust fumes and bouncing around and trying to hold on with everything we've got! Then they slow down. The lights cut out. Then the truck comes to an abrupt stop. My dad turns around and tells us "SHHHHHH!!!" We catch our breath then, silence! We hear the hounds in the not so far distance. My mom goes, "Hey Martha, I think Nell's on a trail!" Aunt Martha says, "Nope! I think that's Lady!" Then my mom says, "Wait! Shhhhh! I think that one.....that one thar, I think thats Sissy! Thar runnin' a coon trail! Hurry Jim lets go!!!" We are all laughing now louder than we can hear the dogs! Pretty soon we hear a rustle in the manzanita bushes in front of the truck! Mom says, "Awwww it's a deer!" Aunt Martha says, "No Debby it's a Bear!" Dad, Uncle Jack and Sonny are not thinking this is very funny at all! Dad and Uncle Jack both holler "Stop it! Be quiet! Whatever is in that bush is BIG!!! LISTEN!" We all get real quiet. We hear stomping and rustling and stick breaking. Big sticks breaking! Dad grabs his hand gun! Uncle Jack grabs his shotgun! They whisper, "If it is a bear, don't run! Just stay in the back of the truck! Let us handle it!" They turn on the headlights! As we all gasp, and hear "MOOOOO!" It was a cow that had gotten loose from a neighboring cattle ranch and she had a calf with her! All of us girls in the back of the truck start laughing as loud as we can! We are crying we are laughing so hard! Dad, Uncle Jack, and Sonny all yell, "Y'all are never goin' huntin' with us again!"


This story would get told over and over again at most of our family functions! We all had so much fun together!

You will truly be missed Aunt Martha Rose!!!!

The Proverbial Bar!

Ok, so after reading my last blog I talked to Aimee (one of my favorite people and I value her opinion tremendously) and she wanted to read my proverbial bar post. I posted this as one of my blogs on my MySpace page and I haven't really edited it for this blog but here it is not in its entirety but here it is....

This is a copy and paste and I am afraid that the formatting didn't quite work out the way I wanted it to but....

The proverbial BAR...

The imaginary bar that we set when we set a goal.
Most of you know that I am a goal oriented person. I like to set goals work to achieve them, and then move toward something bigger and better, right?
Well, I have set some goals and here they are....
I will be an administrator in the public school system within the next 5 years. Don’t get me wrong, I love to teach. I love working with my students. I want to make things better for them. Better for my students. Better for the kids that come after them. I am a fixer. I am not happy unless I know I am making a difference. As a teacher, I think I am making a difference. I hope that I touch my student’s lives and help to make their lives a little easier and a little better. I hope that for ALL of them they become something better than they ever dreamed of. AND I know none of my students will read this but I hope that when they make something of themselves they think of me, even if it is for a fleeting moment, when they experience whatever it is that makes their dreams come true.

Now on to someone to share my life with...
I have set this bar, this filter for the next man that comes into my life.
I am putting this out there hoping to get some feed back and see if MY FRIENDS think that I am crazy of if this "filter" is too fine. To see if because of my past I have limited my future. Opinions count. I will take them into consideration but you all know what opinions are like, EVERYONE HAS ONE!!! I may or may not choose to listen. Most of you all know that I hear them and it is my choice whether or not I take yours into account when making or altering my decision....

1. He will be an equal in many ways.
a. financially/economically
1. We will both work to strive for financial freedom for ourselves and for our children (his and mine).
b. academically/intelligence
c. passionate AND compassionate
a. Passionate about goals, beliefs, helping others, and helping himself.
b. He will have compassion for others and he will show it, regularly.
2. He will have an exemplary background
a. NO criminal background!
3. He will love children as much as I do.
4. He will love being a part of a family.
a. Family will come first.
b. We (he and I) will be important.
c. His children, (if he has any) my children (cause God knows I have some) will be important.
d. We will thank God for them every moment we get a chance.
5. He will want more out of life than just sitting and watching it pass by.
a. Travel
b. See and do things we have never done before.
c. Experience things we have and experience them again together.
6. He will be gentle, patient, kind, caring, fun-loving, and love to laugh.
7. He will NOT be co-dependant.
a. No drugs, no alcohol, no other women!!!
8. He will be able to tell me NO when I need it and yes when I need it.
9. He will love me for what and who I am and NOT for what I can do for him or for what he thinks I can be.
10. I will love him for what and who he is not for what he can do for me or for what I think he can be.

Here's the thing about that...

See here is the thing....

Being single isn't easy!

Dating SUCKS! ALL married people must listen to this! Dating SUCKS!!!

First, finding suitable people whom you trust is the first obstacle. Where do you find them? Bars? Oh heck no! The grocery store? I try to avoid it at all costs! (ha ha nope all the men that hang out there are married or gay!) The INTERNET??? Well let's see??? The Internet has only the filter that you set. Anyone can use it, anyone can post a profile (from myspace to any singles website you can find), anyone can use any picture from anywhere on the Internet or magazine they want to say that is what they look like. Heck, ANYONE can say they make a ton of money and are the "right person" for you! They can tell you what you want to hear because, jeez, lets face it, at this time of your life you are tired of the "same old song and dance!" Hmmmm sounds like I know what I am talking about huh?

Second, once you've found a person who you "think" you might have things in common with. It starts....."THE BIG DANCE!" LOL What I mean is you both try to cover up the flaws. You "dance" around the not so comfortable parts of your life as to make yourself seem more attractive. Then, as days pass and then weeks, your left feeling like "Hey, I really like this person!" As this time passes, you are lulled into a "false sense" of security. Then BAM you are hit with REALITY!!! I am not saying that I was or have been living in another realm HOWEVER, it is very easy to do when you begin a new relationship with someone! This reality can and will hit whether you are looking for the flaws or not! It is all in the timing!!!

REALITY being that EVERYONE has baggage. What you are faced with is, "is this person's baggage too heavy for me to carry?" Then you tell yourself, "Everyone has issues! Even you! You just need to find the person whose issues you can tolerate and that can tolerate yours!"

Well let me tell you folks "it ain't" easy!!!! I have some criteria for the person who will share my time, my friendship, my partnership, and my heart. Maybe someday soon I will post that "Proverbial Bar" criteria list!

I did find someone. I did meet him. I did share my time and a little of my heart with him. He didn't lie. He didn't cheat. At first, he was too good to be true! (BEWARE the too good to be true! They usually are!) At first things were good! It was fun! It was new and exciting. What hurts is, it wasn't all true! Avoidance is an issue. Avoiding what was your past makes your future very dim. Avoidance and denial of a true problem interrupts what can or could have been a beautiful future. He gave me little snippets of what the problem was. I saw the red flags. I knew in my gut what I was looking for. I know what I want! I know what I can handle and what I can't. I went in with my eyes wide open (for the first time in a LONG LONG time!). I just hope that I can continue to keep my eyes open, be patient, kind, and caring to those who come into my life.

I know that I have to stay true to myself, true to my children, true to my goals and true to what I want in a partner and friend. I know that I must take my life lessons and keep my head "screwed on straight."

I guess what scares me is....

I am 38 years old. I have 3 of the best kids in the whole world! Why am I not contented with that? Or am I? Have I set that "bar" so high that there isn't anyone out there that I will feel comfortable sharing the other part of my life with? Is the reason I have set that bar so high because I really don't want to let anyone in?

Alyssa's First Trip to the Zoo!!!

In the bigger little town next to my little town, we have a little zoo. Taylor, Emily, and I decided to take Alyssa for her first trip to the Zoo. The Applegate Zoo in Merced has animals that we would find in the local foothills and mountains. We also met up with a great friend of mine, Darlene and her kids.

Kayson is her youngest and Alyssa thinks that he is a toy!!! He is awfully cute!!! We think that maybe if we get them together now they will grow up, get married, and we can be in-laws! Like that will ever really happen.

Here are some more pics of our trip to the zoo!

On our way into the zoo...

"ooooohhhh what's that???"
"Here kitty kitty!!"









California Black Bear

"Ohhhh I want it! Mommy!"

Pygmy Goats (They are always Hungry!!)



Ok so the last animal here isn't a local animal BUT what is a zoo without some MONKEYS!!!